It’s not like I don’t have a lot of things to do. Since starting down the road towards Getting Things Done I have realised just how many things are on my list. That doesn’t worry me, which is how it should be, but when I waste an evening  without even realising it I end up frustrated and annoyed with myself. Both of these feelings are counter-productive.

So what should I do? Here are a couple of ideas I’ve had:

• Don’t turn the television on – Simple, yet effective. Also, it’s surprisingly difficult to do if you’re like me and seem to need that background noise.
• Check the schedule first – If there’s nothing on that you like it helps justify your decision not to turn the television on in the first place. Unless you’re a fan of reality tv and other low-quality productions you’re likely to find that there really is nothing on.
• Don’t work in a room with a television – Aside from the fact that you’re likely to flick the tv on when looking up from your laptop, the sofa is not the best place to work unless you want crippling back pain after a week or so.
• Work when your partner works – My wife tends to spend a lot of time on her laptop performing various tasks or out in the garden performing maintenance once the kids have gone to bed. This is the only time either of us have for getting things done that aren’t directly related to the working day. Both working around the kitchen table also gives us the chance to communicate more than we would if we were watching tv. It’s much more enjoyable and we both get things done with far less distraction. She can do it, so why can’t I?
• Have a reward (non-television related!) at a set time in the evening – Something you enjoy doing. This could also be something productive like reading a book before bed. If I get my work done I feel relaxed and can spend time reading before falling asleep. If I don’t get anything done I feel annoyed and just go to bed late! I have so many books I want to read and not doing that causes even more frustration.

I’m not saying I do these things, in fact I know that I don’t. But I also know that they do work from the odd time I have done it either by accident or will power (more often the former!). If you have any other ideas then please let me know.

…and yes, I know throwing the television away would be one of them. I don’t think I’m quite ready to take that step yet

There’s a reason I never got around to it, I know that now. If you’d asked me then I would have talked about it not being the right time, it needed more thought or other complications in my life meant it was difficult for me to do something like that right now. The classic excuse was that I was just too busy. It’s not just me, I have heard this sort of excuse from colleagues time and time again. I think we all know it’s an excuse but we’re all playing the game to make ourselves feel better.

‘Yes, I’d like to do it but there are other things outside of my control that prevent me.’

The simple fact of the matter is that I was scared of doing it, just like I’m scared of making any potentially life changing decision. A colleague once referred to it as the ‘velvet rut’, a reference to the fact that the current state might not be taking us anywhere but it’s comfortable. He realised that, but he still did nothing about it.

And that’s what the book talks about; this feeling of ambivalence we get with any change to our lives. The interesting thing is, it made me look at that feeling in a different way. Instead of seeing it as a warning to not go ahead and do it I started to accept that there will always be a part of me that feels insecure and worried about change. The trick is to listen to the other part of you that is excited and optimistic about the change. I don’t know about you, but I’m not psychic so that voice of concern was probably not a vision of the future even though I treated it like it was.

Now I’m not saying all ideas will be good ideas because they won’t. I have friends who don’t appear to have this feeling of ambivalence when they have an idea and to be honest they could do with some! There was a time when I wished I had this apparent ability to not care about the negative repercussions of my actions. Now I realise that I’m better off being a little more cautious (and I believe my family certainly are). As with everything else balance seems to be the best option; realistic rather than pessimistic and positive rather than expectant.

Ambivalence was a word I don’t think I really understood before now. It always held very negative connotations for me, whereas now it’s just something I look out for and recognise without promoting it to the level of premonition. Also I’ve never thought much of self-help books; not that I actually read self-help books before making that assumption. I always treated any issue I had with myself as if it really wasn’t an issue or it had an external cause not under my control. I guess that’s another protective measure that many of us put in place.

I do realise that you should be careful not to just give your life over to the techniques presented by others. Not everything works for everyone and there are a lot of bad self-help books out there just wanting to cash in on peoples insecurities. But that’s not to say that you can’t pick up some really useful advice or get a new insight into an issue you might have.

See what I did there? Realistic and positive…